Three men every single girl should stay away from (Part 3) - Magdalene Nganga Joseph

About two years ago, my uncle and his family were still staying in a rented apartment somewhere in a part of this country. It was a small place, but pretty comfortable.

However, I'm not talking about the apartment today. I'm talking about the landlord. The landlord lived in the same yard. Most times, my uncle sparred with him because he had unreasonable expectations with regards care of the yard. On this particular day I visited, he was at it again. While he was talking and shouting, his wife came out and said something that obviously infuriated him more. Next thing I knew, I was witnessing the strangest event ever in the 21st century.

Oga landlord went inside, came back with a whip and lashed his wife! What!!?? In today's society? I was shocked beyond words. I'm sure my mouth must have opened on it's accord because I do not remember doing so. The most embarrassing part is that there were children in the compound.

Read Also: Three men every single girl should stay away from (Part 1) - Magdalene Nganga Joseph

Fast forward to later in the day, my mouth is open in shock once again. Discussing the incident with my aunt, she gave me more gist. She explained to me that he has mature children who have refused to live at home with him because of how he abuses not just them, But their mother also. According to her, every time his wife "misbehaved", Oga landlord would kneel her down outside in the full glare of all the tenants and their children, and flog her just as he would a child. Sometimes, he'd ask her to stretch her hands and count along as he flogged. Other times, he just lashed all over. Now, that's what I'd use to define humiliation.


I immediately understood why his children all ran away from home. I would never be able to stand that in my household.

Their father is someone majority of us frown at today.

The wife batterer/woman beater.

We preach violence against women everyday. We set up lots of NGOs to support women who are victims of domestic abuse. We scream at the society to raise men to treat women right. But most times, we forget to remind our daughters and sisters that they can identify and avoid prospective wife batterers before they get into wedlock.

In some cases, some very smart men try to hide who they are. I agree that not everything can be prevented or avoided in life, that certain things are beyond our control, and we never can tell if/when our loving husband will turn us into his punching bag when we err. However, it is disappointing to observe that most women willingly tie the knot with men who lay hands on them. Funny enough, they'll come crying mummy when the situation worsens.

Read Also: Three men every single girl should stay away from (Part 2) - Magdalene Nganga Joseph

Some women get it like Oga landlord's wife, with a whip or cane. Others are turned into a punching bag and beaten to pulp. Many women lose babies in miscarriages resulting from battery. Whatever form it takes, domestic violence isn't something to be taken lightly. It is possible to identify such men and protect yourself from future pain.

Verily verily I say unto you, sister. If a man as much as slaps you during your dating/courtship period, you'll likely receive more when you become his wife. He will always apologize after the deed. He'll buy you the best gifts and he'll spoil you silly. But it's only gonna last till you forget to buy bathing soap, get home late, or some very minute thing that'll set off his mood. And then, it's going to be very late.

However, you don't have to wait till he lays hands on you. You can tell a lot about his temperament from the way he treats his mother and sisters.

So, before you tie the knot, sweetheart, look out for the danger signs. A woman beater is a no-go area. We all know that real men don't hit women. The best time to realize that and act on that knowledge is now. And don't forget to put your future children into consideration if you choose to turn an abusive relationship into something permanent.



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